Grass, Titanium, and the Girl I Killed
by ForASunset'sRise
Summary: "There once was a girl adored by everyone. This isn't her story unless you count the part where I killed her." Tsubaki Xander Arashi, case 276, is admitted to Cry Regional School for cases similar to hers; cases of murder. Once there, she quickly catches the eye of the darkest case there but why does this darkest case bring back her memories? Most of all, who exactly is he? AU
1. Once Upon A Time

**A/N: I pulled the idea from a book I skimmed over at the library. The summary was interesting but I didn't check it out. My mom ended up reading it herself and said it was really good and once I read the summary again I got the idea for this story. So, here it is!**

**Updates will be on Mondays and Fridays.**

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_Grass_, **Titanium**, and the Girl I Killed

All OCs and plot belong to me.

All rights for Naruto characters are reserved for Masashi Kishimoto.

©Copyright 2012

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_Prologue_

"_In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." _–Robert Frost

Yeah, he couldn't be more right.

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Chapter 1

Once Upon A Time

_Once upon a time, there was a girl with gorgeous and natural rosy pink hair. Emerald eyes and pale skin, she was adored by everyone; her parents, her teachers, her peers. She withheld a rare kindness and will and ranked highest in her class in intelligence. She excelled at everything she did, sports, art, dance, cheer. This isn't her story in the least, unless you count the part where I killed her._

:: Xander—

_Tha-Thump._

_Tha-Thump._

_Tha-Thump._

_Tha-Th-_

_Scrrech!_

My energy was just as drained as the toilet water after someone flushed it. My skin held a greyish, weak color that startled me.

'Isn't that the color of a dead man's skin?'

I hoped I wouldn't get in trouble for turning off the heart monitor. 'Maybe they won't notice.'

The glare of the white, sterile walls irritated my eyes. I didn't remember their color.

'Maybe they're the same color of that angry boy's eyes?' My mind flashed back to the overly loud, banana color haired boy. I didn't know why he was so mad.

'Was it something I did?' The questioned rang unanswered as the same sterile white door creaked open. Clicks echoed in the room as a woman with short, black hair walked in, clipboard in hand.

'I wonder what the sky looks like.' I cocked my head to the side and smiled before the woman sat in the circular, spinning chair. 'I don't remember.'

"Hello, Tsubaki." The woman said her happy voice plastic. The way her posture spoke showed that she hid an underlining hate for me. "I'm Shizune, you're caretaker. I'm here to ask you a few questions."

'What did I do?' The thought had lingered in my brain since I awoke and noticing the silver bands around me wrist. They wouldn't let me move.

"How do you feel?" She asked, holding the tip of her shiny pen asked the crisp paper on the clipboard. I blinked as a thin smile wormed its way on my lips. "I feel…" I looked down at my cold hands, the hands of a dead man. "…numb…"

I watched the woman mar her sheet of paper with ink, its' color I couldn't see. 'Maybe it's a sparkling crimson.'

"What's three times four?"

"Twelve." I spoke, my head tilting to towards the door.

"What comes after 'U'?"

"'V'" Mother used to teach me the alphabet.

"What's color is the sky?"

'Is she confused like me? Is that why she needs to know these things?' Another thought as my voice filled the air. "The sky is a changing shade of blue. Sometimes black."

'I remember.'

Silence filled the room with the acceptation of the scratching of pen on paper. Shizune paused and look to the area beside my bed and quickly stood.

"Why'd you unplug the heart monitor?" She panicked, rushing over and slipping the cord back into the wall.

_Tha-Thump._

_Tha-Thump._

"My heartbeat scared me." I said, confused. 'Did I not have the option to turn it off?'

Shizune's hand clenched as she picked up her clipboard and pen from the floor. She bowed and left the room without another word.

A sheet of paper sat on the floor forgotten by my caretaker. I wanted to call to her, remind her of her sheet of paper but my tummy said that she wouldn't answer.

'Why?'

The paper was close enough to read the ebony writing. 'The color was black.'

* * *

**ARASHI, XANDER TSUBAKI**

**CASE 276**

Reason for admission: _Murder of Haruno, Sakura_

Mental Disorder?: Split Personality

Treatment: N/A

Memory Sustained?: Yes

Sex: F

Birthday: August 6th

Age: 17

Eye Color: Blue

* * *

I stopped reading the form. 'I murdered someone? Why?' I asked. I gave the paper another glance.

* * *

Eye Color: Blue

* * *

'I wonder if they're the same shade as the angry boy.' Quiet and loneliness filled the room. I leaned against the bed and let my eyelids cover my blue eyes.

'Maybe I'll remember in the morning…'

:: Xander –

The angry boy came again. A dark haired boy with night sky blue eyes restrained him. The same hate that lingered in Shizune's boy was evident in their eyes.

"You killed her! Let me go, teme! Let me kill her, too!" He shouted. I cringed and stared wide eyed.

"You can't, dope, unless you want to end up in like _her_." I cringed, again, at the dark pools of blue.

"I don't remember. I'm sorry for killing her. I don't remember why." I said scared as both their eyes landed on me. "Mother used to tell me it'd happen one day. That I had those 'same ugly eyes' as my father. I think he killed someone too."

I smiled. "Maybe that's why I killed her. Or maybe she was the wrong person at the wrong place." I frowned. "I don't remember."

"She can talk." The banana haired boy whispered, shocked for someone reason.

"Of course I can. Mother taught me." I was really confused. 'Why would I not be able to talk?'

The dark haired boy looked annoyed. "I keep telling you, dope, that this isn't the same girl that murdered Sakura. The Tsubaki that killed Sakura left the moment she died."

The angry boy wasn't angry any more. He had a look of understanding.

"Who is your hate for?" I asked. 'There's another me?'

The understanding boy slipped out the door leaving the dark haired boy behind. He looked at me, eyes cold with underlining hate and softness.

"Titanium." After his one word he left.

'Who is Titanium? Is she me?' I mulled over the name.

'Titanium. Why did she murder Sakura?'

:: Xander –


	2. Nameless Me

**A/N: And, I completely forgot about updating this yesterday. Sorry.**

**I've personally never wrote something like this so this story, my dear readers, shall be a trip for all.**

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_Prologue_

"_I let it go. It's like swimming against the current. It exhausts you. After a while, whoever you are, you just have to let go, and the river brings you home." –_Joanne Harris, Five Quarters of the Orange

This 'Titanium' girl, she was a bad person. I didn't want to be her. I wanted to be someone new. I didn't want to be 'Tsubaki' either. They were both of my past, pieces that needed to be forgiven and let go. So, together, they drifted down this river Joanne spoke of. Now, I didn't know who I was once more. I was nameless.

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Chapter 2

Nameless Me

_We had all been there once. That place when you don't have a name. Usually it's when you're still your mother's tummy. Or maybe if you didn't like that name and disowned it, leaving you to think of another to fill that empty spot. _

:: Xander—

Shizune became friendlier after six days. She removed the silver bands around my wrists. The red hate that resided in her posture disappeared as she got to know me.

The sheet lied. I didn't have a lot of memory left. I lost it once my 'other personality' disappeared. She said that only a handful of memories and everyday knowledge resided, any personal thoughts or favorites had disappeared with the 'other personality'. I told Shizune, she erased on the sheet she came back to get.

I assumed Titanium was my bad side and Tsubaki was the good one but they both left. They disappeared without a goodbye.

'Would it have hurt to say goodbye?' I thought as the door to my room creaked open. Shizune came into the room but another woman came in as well. She dressed differently than Shizune. Her clothes were more similar to Naruto's.

Naruto occasionally came. He said that he liked the 'new me' a lot more than the old 'ones'. He said he forgave my old self, which led me to let them go.

I had no name unless you count my last name but I didn't like that one either. It was a reminder of what they did.

"Hello, Tsu-"

"No." I shook my head. "I'm not Tsubaki anymore." The other woman raised a crème eye brow and questioned, "Oh, really? Then who are you?"

Who are you? I stared at the woman, mouth agape with no answer. I thought for a moment as my original name flashed through my mind.

"Xander. I am Xander." I said a strong tone in my voice. Shizune smiled slightly as the honey eyed woman sent a questioning side glance at her. She looked back to me, "Xander what?"

My fingers twirled together as I thought of words. 'May, Ryan, tree, hanging, lemon, crème, banana, gr-'

"Xander Grass. That is my name." I said, confidently. The woman smirked, "Well, Xander Grass, I'm Tsunade and by tomorrow you'll no longer be residing in this hospital."

"Hospital? Is that what this place is called?" I frowned, tugging on my lengthy orange hair. It was dry and dirty, matted with brown. "What does the word derive from?" Tsunade's eyebrows squished together, confusion decorating her face.

"I'm…not sure. My apologies." She bowed her head slightly and clapped her hands together and walked over. I flinched back slightly as she flashed a bright yellow in my eyes. I winced and blinked as she tucked the item back into her pocket. She ran her honey eyes over my face and began removing the suction cups and needles from my body. I watched fantasized when the needle pulled from my skin, no crimson lingering on it.

'Was that natural?' I asked myself as Tsunade boomed Shizune's name. She stumbled over and handed Tsunade a bundle of fabric that was then handed to me. I marveled at how light the bundle was compared to how it looked.

I flexed my muscles and stretched slightly. The sheet covering my body itched, creating pink on my skin. My body leapt as Tsunade startled me from my observations.

"Well? Are you going to get up so I can take you to the restroom?" I clutched the fabric to my chest as I edged one leg over the bed. I nervously tested my weight and held an iron grip on the railing of the bed. I slid my other bony leg over and let my weight fall on my legs.

I stood and looked down at Tsunade, who now stood below me. "How'd you do that?" I asked, very confused. I held the fabric closer as Shizune giggled and Tsunade laughed. Yellow filled the air as Tsunade smiled and explained how I was taller than her.

I felt very dumb after I had an explanation. Tsunade began to move away to the door of the small room. I tripped after her, still clumsy on my legs.

They felt so much different. My entire body no longer felt numb. I could feel the cold edge from my back to my front as Tsunade led me a little ways down the hall. She came to a halt, I almost crashed into her. A light color hand slid a key into the door and a small 'click' noise came from the door. It swung open and a blast of icy blue air hit me.

The crème haired woman nodded her head towards the room and flicked the light on. I shuffled inside, jumping as the door slammed shut.

I gazed at the mirror on the wall, at the woman inside it. Her hair was curtain like, falling around her knee elegantly. Soft baby blue eyes gazed curiously. 'Is this…me?' I questioned as I sat down the bundle of fabric. 'She's pretty.'

I reached out to touch the mirror as the image changed. I jumped backwards and held my hand to my chest. A younger, beautiful girl replaced my image. Pink sprung from her scalp and emerald eyes watched me. Her skin was a smooth lovely pale and she wore the same sheet I did. My weight suddenly began to lift from my body but my body no once moved.

Her mouth opened revealing straight white teeth as her lips moved in the shape of words.

'**I forgive you.**' The words rang in my head instead of peeling from her mouth. Her mouth moved in a silent scream as the mirror began to crack in the dark area of her open mouth. The crack quickly spread into spider webs as the mirror shattered. Her scream rang true as I stared on horrified. My body weight crashed back down to me as the world flicked black and came back just as fast.

My hand hovered centimeters from the mirror, the pink haired girl gone. A single mirror shard rested on the edge of the sink.

It didn't add up. The mirror was whole, not a single shard missing, but the shard still remained.

I shook my head and pulled my hand back and moved it to pick up the shard. My reflection glimmered at me as I moved on impulse. My empty hand moved to hold my hair back as the shard sliced through my hair.

The hair fell with a soft 'pat' as I watched my hair spread and spike upwards on the ends. A single piece of hair still stayed at my knee, framing my face.

The sheet fell to the ground as well and I unraveled the bundle to find grey pants and a blue shirt and white undergarments. 'Such sad colors.' I thought as slipped the fabric over my bony arms and legs.

I gazed upon the hair shattered on the ground and tilted my head to look for the shard that I'd put to rest on the counter.

Gone.

:: Xander—


	3. Xander Grass New Home

**A/N: I apologize for the lateness. I got caught up in life. And a lack of inspiration.**

**Thanks for reviews! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, period.**

* * *

_Prologue_

"_Some places speak distinctly. Certain dank gardens cry aloud for a murder; certain old houses demand to be haunted; certain coasts are set apart for shipwrecks." – Robert Louis_

Cry Regional was one of those places. The tall grey walls surrounding the building were tall enough so you couldn't see inside passing by. From the outside you just knew something bad was in there. The rusted letter across the giant arch way didn't assist in the looks of the school walls.

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Chapter 3

Xander Grass; New Home

_I remember mother saying 'home is where the heart is' so I figured since my heart was inside me wherever I went was home. Unless there's a traveling heart and that's where home is but I highly doubt that._

:: Xander—

Tsunade and Shizune didn't understand how I was able to cut my hair when there was nothing in the bathroom I could use besides the mirror but it was still whole. I had asked Shizune to keep the single knee-length strand of orange I had left. She kindly left the strand but trimmed the rest of it.

I could feel the heat of the asphalt through the thin soles of my tennis shoes as Tsunade led me outside, several men surrounding us. I was confused as to why they were there but as I settled deeper into the world around me, I understood more. No memories returned but everyday logic and information returned. We reached a sparkling, black and white car and Tsunade directed to me to the back of it.

'Police car.' I thought as a man in uniform slid cuffs around my wrist, arms behind my back. I didn't question anything and Tsunade exchanged words with the man.

Hatred and red looks were sent my way. I was new to the hatred I was sent. Red had never been one of my favorite emotions. It burned those around it with a fiery, crimson hate; it burned with a sinful burgundy. My mind reminded me that I was not the person the hate was meant for. Titanium deserved the hate sent my way.

The man returned to the front of the car; I felt like a caged animal as the car roared around me. A couple scars covered the man's face and his uniform was asymmetrical; his hair was a dark shade, high in a short and spikey pony tail. My lip curled as an emotion I didn't recognize filled my stomach. My teeth scraped against my lower lip. The buildings rushed by too fast for me to remember them.

"Where am I going?" I asked, meekly. My toes curled nervously when the man's eyes darted to the mirror hanging in the front of the car, gazing at my figure briefly. 'That's what I was feeling.' I thought. 'Nervous.'

"We're going to Cry Regional, Tsubaki." He stated.

"I'm not her." I said a tone of meekness still in my voice. His eyes returned to me, an eyebrow arching. Yellow began to fill the air as I continued, "I mean, she's gone. I'm Xander Grass. Not Tsubaki Arashi. Or Titanium."

"I figured." He said, a tone of laziness echoing in his nonchalant posture. I was confused, was this man there when I changed my name? "The glint of mischief no longer rests in your eyes, Xander. A new one rests there; the glint of naivety now rests there."

'Naivety…'

:: Xander—

"_You're naïve, Tsubaki." Mother scolded. My bottom lip quivered as Father stood, grasping my mother's shoulder. "Ravenna, don't say such things to Tsubaki." Mother ripped his hand off her shoulder as if it burnt her. Her pupils were widen, a glint of insanity in them. Her soft orange pixie cut was a messy as it could be, a bony tanned figure pointing in my direction. The simple gesture screamed accusation and she laughed, "She's going to end up just like you. Look at those eyes! They're the eyes of a killer." _

_I choked back a sob, my walls not strong enough to hide the hurt. Father narrowed his forest green eyes as he ran a hand through his blond hair. He swept an around my waist, gently picking me up. I wailed into his shoulder, shivering although the house was rather hot. He set me on his bed, holding my hands as he looked me in the eyes. My deep blue eyes were confused._

"_You have your mother's eyes."_

:: Xander—

"I'm not naïve." I said. "That's my mother."

The man smirked, "I remember your mother." That was the last time he spoke to me during the car ride to Cry Regional.

The building had red and black streaming out of it, an occasionally scream echoing from the walls. I was terrified as he walked around the car, grasping my upper arm and pulling me out of the car. He handed me over to another man in a deep grey suit, Cry Regional stitched in his jacket.

I habitually dipped my head down, clasping my hands together in pray. "Dear Lord…" I whispered, no sound emitting from my lips. They moved to the words as I soundlessly spoke. "Lead me to safety for my memory can assist me in any way." My feet moved subconsciously as the man led me inside the building. "Do not let these walls break my own. Forgive the sins I have committed. In Jesus name I pray…" I lifted my head as I was pulled to a stop in front of what I assumed was the front desk. Accusing eyes glared at me as I raised my hand, unclasping my head.

"Amen." Both men laughed at me and I was confused at first but I linked the actions together. I swept the single knee length strand of hair out of my face, "May the devil have mercy on your souls."

The man grasping my arm exchanged a look with the one across the desk. "Another religious nut bag."

'Another?' I thought, closing my eyes as I was led through yet another room.

:: Xander—


End file.
